sorry

hey blog. I am having my 6th relapse. The docs told me they might change the drug. I know I may not live that long as my heart is starting to ache here and there. But I do not dare ask god for longevity; nor do I need a strong body. I just need time; long enough to repay my parents and elder sis. It stabs me in the heart to hear my lil sis knows that my relapse is occurring on her birthday again and her first question was ,"ah kor zhen mo ban." I am really guilty if she were to feel that her birthday is some how related to my relapse. I claim myself to be that a failure of a brother; one who would only let his sisters worry about him.

I will not stop moving forward. I must keep moving; I MUST NOT STOP till this heart is finally dead.